The Cookie Monster

So a friend and I were chatting on Facebook about a status I posted using Jane Austen's classic opening to her novel, Pride and Prejudice, you know,

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good
fortune, must be in want of a wife.

So I decided to place my own spin on this:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that once he's had the cookie,the thrill of the chase ends.

I speak truth ya'll dont hate. So my friend Bunny and I decided to go crazy with our cookie analogy. Because we don't like the other words for vagina (because a pussy looks nothing like a cat)

thus goes our conversation

Bunny:

Well done. That's why you stay a virgin till someone puts a shiney jewel on you forth finger. And then weds you in front of his friends so he can't deny you afterwards. Then he can have his cookie reward. At which point you will own half his assests- your reward for keeping the cookie jar closed.

Mpumpum:

LOL Amen Bun-Bun!

Bunny:

Morals aside. Don't let anyone steal the cookie from your cookie jar; lest your husband comes and finds his empty.

Let's just pause here and enjoy the Biblical language....

Mpumpum:

I know, because the cookie monster is always unworthy!!

Bunny:

haha.. yip. Just leaves his nasty crumbs behind; and sour memories.

Ah the poor cookie monster, so discriminated against!

Mpumpum:

And maybe a junior cookie monster or even *gasp* chocolate chips (herpes! lol)

Bunny:

Haha..! Imagine- cookie monster junior!! I'm keeping my cookie locked up. Someone get me a chastity belt..

Lulz ensue because all i can imagine is the Cookie Monster (that innocent fellow) going all feral on some chick, because somebody mislead him to believe that the vagina is the Cookie Of Destiny *heh*.

Also: watched the Oprah "Two Day Season Premiere" with Whitney.... and South Africans on Twitter were abuzz with the gobsmacking moment of "He spit on me. He actually spit on me. In my face" like WHAAAAAAAAATT?? Oh no he di'n't. Oh yes. He DID. And then she told her daughter it was "okay" *cyberslap*


This caused much merriment on my behalf also because, Whitney hit Bobby on the head multiple times and caused him to pass out. There was blood. Why do I find this lolarious? Not because I find joy in others pain but because he thought he could intimidate her physically and found out who really was the boss.

Also also: Evil Eyes. Lulz


Remember to donate to Haiti ya'll. It's very important that we all chip in, to save this beautiful nation and their peoples. Despite rampant Satanism (lolwut) or so says Pat Robertson. My dear sibling Choclolate Ice, told about this the day it broke on Twitter and caused a shit storm, and I mistaken heard Robert Pattinson. I thought it was fucking HILARIOUS, mostly because all I could think of is Growing Up Cullen and how Edward would totes agree.

You know, Emmett, when things like this happen, we must always point to the evil that people perpetrate. No Emmett, I do not think it is evil not to make love to my Bella. She will not die from it. No Stop thinking like that. That! That right there is why Haiti is destroyed! God cannot take your filthy mind, and wreaks destruction upon the planet! I do not have a God complex Emmett. I watch Bella for her own safety....

So sorry RPattz for laughing at you for the better part of half an hour. I could not resist.