Have Mercy On Me, A Sinner: A Catholic Mea Culpa

My Catholicism is something that people find shocking. I'm sure my lassiere-faire approach to life has something to do with it. But I am an honest to blog, practicing Catholic. I go to confession once a month, I make sure I'm at mass everyday if possible and I spend a lot of time actually studying my faith. The last couple of months have been difficult. Not in the sense of the actual reception of sacraments, but the shitstorm of these paedophilia and abuse cases. Simply put, my heart is sore.

This 2000 year old church has been brought to its knees by negligence and ignorance. I cannot fathom the pain and the absolute terror that the abuse victims felt when they went through this ordeal, nor can I imagine the kind of fear the priests responsible for causing it must feel. What I can empathise with is the fear of failure that our Bishops must be experiencing. It is not often that a Bishop is called to book over failures that occurred over 30-40 years ago, where what might have been seen as a good spanking then is a brutal beating now. More than anything I am angry. The successors of the apostles have failed to keep their shepherds in line. Have failed in their God-given duty to chastise, to form and to lead, no matter how uncomfortable, or how badly it reflects on the diocese they are called upon to lead.

The cock has crowed three times. We have failed to heed the warning. We have denied Christ by denying his children. So I, as a faithful Catholic apologise to you, the public ad extra. I say sorry for priests and bishops who failed to show you Christ's light. Who have almost extinguished his light in the world and may have broken your faith in the Church that wishes to be a moral compass in a world that is spinning out of control. I apologise to each and every person who has been adversely affected by this scandal.

I pray this every time I go to confession. It is called an Act Of Contrition. I pray it for me and for the church in this time.

"O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven, and the pains of Hell; but most of all because I love Thee, my God, Who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen."

I know this brings little comfort to you. But I hope that it means something to the world at large.