Happy Valentines Day, you know, if you're into that kinda stuff

I can remember the first Valentine's Day I had at High School. I was awkward, fat and had these long dreadlocks that made me look like really stupid. Yes, High School was not a good time. Roses were given out, forfeits were had and a general whoop was had by all. *YAYS BOYS LIKE US OMG*

Speaking of Valentine's Day, or give each other Venereal Disease Day, the ensemble movie came out yesterday. You know, where they throw lots of celebrities and you with old music and everyone with a vagina comes out of the theatre feeling sad about their love life in general, add wine and you have a wail fest on your hands? Yup. It's one of those, with greasy Native American jailbait to wet the panties of the twi-brigade. Speaking of panties that have been whetted apparently our favourite dirty white boy Robert Pattinson doesn't like Valentine's Day. Oh the joy I felt when I heard this news.

You, dear Pattzy have sold your soul to the demon of wet pubescent panties and romance, by playing a sexually frustrated sparklespire.You gave up any sort of credibility when you did that, sexy face. Valentine's Day will now be the day that you stay indoors because you WILL be raped on the streets of London/Los Angeles if you dare to venture outside. Actually, please do. I'm in desperate need of a laugh. I hope she weighs 17 stone and is someone's mom. LOL.

Google Buzz is apparently the new big brother.Beware folks, people can see your inbox, your google chat conversations and all sorts of privacy invasions. Which is cool if you're making your ex-boyfriend jealous with your flourishing love life. Not so much when said ex-boyfriend wants to eat your eyeballs (again, turn off your gmail Pattzy). The IPAD has also generated a lot of buzz,mostly for sounding like a personal hygiene product. I'm still waiting for a good menstruation joke, guys, and not one that says that you can't trust women blah blah that shit is played out. Apple, I expected more from you. Steve Jobs, you're a man. Anything to do with a vagina that doesn't involve sex should squick you out. You are officially on a cool warning. I am putting you on notice.

Also, be more awesome all of you.